Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 1, 01.06.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- What's the difference between the first love and the last love?
- The first love always feels like the last, and the last always feels like the first.
- Does a woman have to be smart?
- No, she just has to be a bit smarter than a man.
- What is a fit punishment for bigamy?
- Four antlers instead of two.
- What to do if an atom bomb went off one hundred yards from you?
- Don't do anything, - nobody will appreciate it.
- Which crime is better - organized or unorganized?
- Organized by me.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- Measure twice before cutting.
- While you're measuring twice, someone will cut it for you.
- Human eyes tend to see mostly others' things.
- Human ears, however, tend to hear mostly their owner.
- Don't laugh at old men - you'll be one someday!
- If you're lucky!
- Even honest men sometimes get lucky.
- And then nobody considers them honest anymore.
- Never argue with a fool: people might not see the difference.
- Never argue with a wise man, - people might see the difference.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
AUTOBIOGRAPHY- rare opportunity to tell the truth about your acquaintances.
SLEEPLESSNESS- when you can't fall asleep even at work.
BORE- a wife who will spend six months nagging her husband to throw out the Christmas tree.
GUILLOTINE- the cutting off of thoughts.
LIAR- a person who can't lie properly.
~ PARADOXICAL THOUGHTS ~
70% of divorces are started up by women, and 70% - by men.
One needs devilish patience to keep angelic character.
If you spend too much time thinking about life, you won't have time to live it.
Love helps kill time, time helps kill love.
All mushrooms can be eaten, but some only once.
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