Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 3, 12.06.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- Why do women like flowers?
- Do they have a choice?
- What's the difference between confiscation and robbery?
- A robber doesn't take everything...
- I go to sleep with one thought, and wake up with another. Am I a pervert?
- As long as this is only valid for thoughts, you're fine.
- Who lives well in Russia?
- Foreigners.
- Is there a limit to human desires?
- No. A man always wants more than he needs.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- Management doesn't exist to be pleased!
- To one who asks to hurry, give with delay: the more they want it, the more they appreciate it.
- Whether you get married or not, you'll be sorry.
- Family is everything to a man! Thus, before getting married a man has to think what's more important for him - family or everything.
- Brevity is the soul of wit.
- Brvty is th'sl 'f wt.
- Sometimes to find common ground one has to bite one's tongue.
- Sometimes one has to bite one's tongue in order not to spit out one's teeth.
- The more I learn about people, the more I like dogs.
- Times are such - one's afraid for dogs.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
LOVERS- two people, who love themselves with each other's help.
POLITICIAN- a man who thinks one thing, says another, does the third, and the result is the fourth.
PATIENCE- the ability to enjoy listening to someone telling your favorite joke.
FRIEND- a person who knows you well, but still didn't become your enemy.
TIME- simultaneously the cheapest and the most expensive thing a man has.
~ PARADOXICAL THOUGHTS ~
If people didn't have brains, they'd have an easier time falling asleep.
"Honesty is the best policy... when everything else fails."
Labor didn't turn an ape into a man in order to later turn him into a horse.
Women are like translations: the beautiful are not faithful, and the faithful aren't beautiful.
Experience teaches us that experience teaches us nothing.
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