Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 4, 18.06.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- Is there a solution in a desperate situation?
- Sometimes the only solution in any situation is a feat.
- Why do women ask men to change the lightbulb?
- That's the only time they see Prometeus in them.
- What is modesty?
- Asking for five dollars as change from a dollar and not blushing.
- Does a woman have to be smart?
- There are no smart women: there are "delightfully silly" and "grossly stupid"!
- What doesn't bite, and doesn't let you in the house?
- Polite husband of your mistress.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- Earth - for the peasants! Factories - for the workers! Water - for the sailors! Space - for the astronauts! Moon - for the loonies!
- Turkey - for the turkeys!
- Doctors advise: 1) Never get upset at trivialities. 2) Everything is trivial.
- Patients advise: 1) Never upset your doctor with trivialities. 2) All diseases are trivialities for them.
- Repetition is the mother of learning and the father of deep sleep.
- Repetition is the sister of hypnosis.
- Love is hard - you'll fall in love even with a goat.
- Love is hard - you'll fall in love.
- If you have a fountain, shut it down - let the fountain rest.
- If you have a fan, shut him up - let the fan rest.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
DIPLOMAT- a man who can answer you in such a way that you forget the question.
YEAR- 365 days consisting of useful sleep and useless wakefullness.
IDEAL HUSBAND- the husband of an ideal wife.
LAWYER- a person who'll help you get his due.
~ One-liners ~
I told them that I'm mute.
You're so desirable! I long for morning!
He always carried an answering machine.
She was modest to indecency...
Ashamed, her face she covered with her skirt...
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