Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 5, 24.06.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- How does one become a star?
- 1) Spread your legs. 2) Spread your arms. 3) Smile.
- What's the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?
- An optimist invents a plane. A pessimist invents a parachute.
- What do you need to be completely happy?
- Find an answer to this question.
- What to do if you fell in a canyon?
- Try to enjoy the flight.
- Why are all fat men so good-natured?
- They can neither fight, nor run.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- So much could be done if one didn't have to work.
- Any time you start to work someone will wake you up.
- There is nothing more foolish than the desire to be smarter than the rest.
- NOONE KNOWS that I have such a desire.
- More and more people are keeping our secret.
- Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.
- A shovel was flying, fell into the bog. The better the payment, the better the work.
- The bog's in a copse, and the shovel's in a field. The better the labor - the higher the yield.
- All your problems are stemming from...
- ...considering all this a problem.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
MANAGER- a person who never leaves for tomorrow something that he can make someone do today.
GENTLEMAN- a man who, having invited a girl to his house to see engravings, shows her the engravings.
LOVE- a misconception that one woman is somehow different from another.
EXPERIENCED WOMAN- a woman who can hide her experience.
SINCERE- a man who doesn't have anything to hide from people.
~ VITAL WISE ~
It's hard to keep quiet when you're not being asked.
The process is fun - the result is upsetting.
One careless move, and you're a father!
Sometimes something so bad comes into your head that you become ashamed of it.
When you're loved by everyone, many won't like it.
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