Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 6, 01.07.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- What's the meaning of life?
- The meaning of life is in searching for the meaning of life.
- Where do real men abide?
- Real men don't abide, they divorce.
- Doctor, will I live?
- What's the use?
- How many children should there be in a family?
- One is too few, two are too many.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- If you aren't being noticed, you've been perceived.
- And if you're naked, chances are you're still being perceived.
- Better to have a belly from beer than a hump from labor.
- Belly is not from beer, it's for beer.
- Never argue - always stand your ground.
- Only after standing your ground, you realize that you were standing in the wrong place.
- The last plus is always a grave marker.
- Not every cross is a plus.
- Murphy's law: The day you come to work on time, your boss will be late.
- Murphy's law: The day you put on a tie, someone will step on it.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
JUSTICE- when the court finds for you.
OATH- an assurance that arouses suspicion.
ANESTHESIA- a magical means for a doctor to curb patients' advice during surgery.
BACCHANALIA- a party at your neigbors' that you haven't been invited to.
LOVE- the art of losing.
~ MEDICAL WISE ~
A well-tied person doesn't need anesthesia.
A cold being cured will subside in seven days. And the one not being cured - in a week.
You can't cure sclerosis, but you can forget about it.
Small doses of alcohol are safe in any quantity.
A cigarette shortens your life by 3 minutes, but a video shortens it by an hour and a half.
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