Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions ...... Issue 7, 10.07.00

~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~


- Why does everyone consider himself smarter than everybody else?
- Because it's obvious for him/her.
 (c) * Pro

- Why are all MEN physicists?
- Because they are affected by the force of attraction to women.
 (c) * Dr

- What is happiness?
- Happiness is when you left work already, but haven't come home yet.
 (c) * Pro

- Why are women afraid of mice?
- Women aren't afraid of them, they are trying to FRIGHTEN them!!!
 (c) * Consuello

- Which wife is good?
- A new one!
 (c) * Tom Cat

~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~


- There are so many great deeds that we are precluded from performing because of common sense
 (c) * Julia
- After establishing that you're not a genius, try to live using common sense.
 (c) H. Cherny

- There are two vacations per year: one is when you take a vacation, the other is when you boss does.
 (c) NN
- You can have a third, when your spouse has one.
 (c) *

- There are seconds when you count minutes, and it all lasts for hours...
 (c) NN
- There are moments when the score has been opened, but you have yet to see the ball.
 (c) * Slava

- A fool who realized that he is a fool is no fool.
 (c) NN
- A wise man who thinks that he's a wise man is no wise man.
 (c) * Pro

- We have a freedom of conscience: if you want to have it, have it, if you don't - don't
 (c) Andrej Knyshev
- The more conscience you have, the less others have.
 (c) * Slava

~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~


ACQUAINTANCE- A person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well enough to lend to.
 (c) Ambrose Bierce

WIFE- a woman who has no life, and doesn't let anyone else have one.
 (c) Pro

LOVERS- the two, for whom any third is a hindrance!
 (c) * Sdf

SALARY- approximately half the amount of money you're worth.
 (c) NN

PARLIAMENT- a place where minutes are saved and hours are wasted.
 (c) NN

~ USEFUL ADVICES ~


Save money! There's little left!
 (c) A. Knyshev

Do something good at times. There is nothing bad about doing something good.
 (c) G. Malkin

Profess your love! The first to profess love is the one who loses his nerve.
 (c) K. Melikhan

Here is some good advice: never listen to any advice!
 (c) * Pro

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