Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 8, 17.07.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- Besides a shooting instructor, who can argue with a wrestling instructor?
- His wife.
- What do I do if the parachute failed to open?
- Don't jump anymore.
- What's the meaning of the 2 rings on the wedding limo?
- Initial score - 0:0.
- What happens if dreams don't come true?
- They get discounted.
- What begins when patience runs out?
- When patience runs out, everything else begins!
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- No matter how low a man falls, there's always a woman who's ready to fall even lower for him.
- The higher a man's position, the more fallen women there are.
- A homeland abandoned always seems like Paradise.
- Even understanding the obvious advantages of Paradise, somehow noone is in a hurry to get there.
- He laughs best who gets the last laugh.
- He laughs best who laughs at the last one...
- When you get married, you always win: either you're happy, or you're a philosopher.
- Any guaranteed lottery is a bunch of lies.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
WIFE- the daughter of the mother-in-law.
SCHOOL- the establishment, where children are taught both useful and useless things, and prevented from distinguishing them.
DISTANT RELATIVE- a person who's usually not as distant as one would wish.
ECONOMIST- a person who knows more about money than those who have it.
DIET- when one holds all he can... and then EATS LIKE A PIG!
~ One-liners ~
He said goodbye, but didn't leave for ages...
I've greed for happiness. Admitting and repenting...
O, cover thy pale legs...
Oh where, oh where have you hung yourself?
Whatever's tried, life gives you tougher trials...
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