Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 9, 20.07.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- Why are bricks square but ripples on the water round?
- Why are coins round, but everyone looks at them with square eyes?
- What's man's main goal?
- To get into a woman's arms without letting her get her hands on him.
- What to do if something is allowed, but you don't want it?
- You don't want it because it's allowed.
- What's the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?
- Anyone is an optimist when starting something. He becomes a pessimist when he sees the outcome.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- The slower you drive, the farther you get.
- If you drive fast, you'll be quietly carried out.
- Take care of your boss - the next one may be worse.
- Take care of your wife - the next one may be worse.
- An apple never falls far from an apple tree.
- It's been awhile since Newton left, but the apples kept falling, and falling... (acc. Harms)
- Big ships get big torpedoes.
- Big minds get big misconceptions.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
FANATIC- the one who, having lost sight of the goal, doubles his efforts.
TOYS- accessories invented by grown-ups to stop children from interfering in grown-up games.
SADNESS- the feeling one gets when he assesses the situation in his family, town, country, world...
TRUST- the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
EXPERT- a person who stopped thinking because he already knows.
MILDNESS- incredible patience in planning revenge.
~ What's better? ~
It's better to do something and then regret it than regret not doing it.
Better food with no appetite, than appetite with no food.
Chess players watch their figures most.
Better to have milk in the refrigerator than a cow in the kitchen.
Better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
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