Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 10, 17.08.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- What can one do if his dreams don't come true?
- Dreams that come true aren't dreams - they're plans.
- And when did this noisy creature start stalking you?
-As soon as I got married, doctor!!!
- What's the difference between a physicist and a schitzophreniac?
- A physicist can become a schitzophreniac, but a schitzophreniac can't become a physicist.
- Why don't people blush in the dark?
- How do you know? Have you seen it?
- Besides a shooting coach, who can argue with a wrestling coach?
- A running coach.
- What would you do to an unfaithful wife?
- Butt her!
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- If no one's guilty, someone is designated.
- Before designating the guilty ask for volunteers.
- I don't hold grudges. I forget them once I have my revenge.
- I don't hold grudges. So I have to write them down.
- Modesty becomes a woman.
- You can't spoil a modest woman with jewelry.
- If stars are lighted, someone must need it.
- If stars are awarded, it's needed even more. (Private G.)
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
TEACHER- a person who berates the pupil for bad grades that he himself gives.
IDEAL HUSBAND- a man who doesn't cheat, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and doesn't exist.
HONESTY- when you want to say one thing, and say the truth.
MEMORY- a blacklist.
ASTRONAUT- enclosed traveler around the world.
~ One-liners ~
Looking smart and dumbly staring...
She sensuously told me: "Go away...
My husband is off-line, and money is a problem...
And like a swan I flew when I have stumbled.
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