Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 11, 22.08.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- How should one handle hackers?
- Take scissors and forcefully disconnect from the network.
- Are you sure you adequately estimate your worth?
- Of course not. I always underestimate myself.
- Why do men like pretty girls?
- A theater starts at the coat room.
- What do the two rings on the top of a wedding limo signify?
- The start of the chain of married life.
- What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
- None. Whatever one has, the other also does.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- If you dream, refuse yourself nothing!
- If you refuse yourself, do it in dreams.
- You should borrow from pessimists - they know in advance they're not going to get the money back.
- Many became pessimists by financing optimists.
- Only a fool is sure of his own wisdom.
- If a man looks for wisdom - he's wise, but if he thinks he found it - he's mad.
- The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
- The depth of thought depends on the same thing...
- One can't bound the boundless.
- Wanted to try, but my hands are full.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
EXPERIENCE- a wonderful thing that lets you recognize a mistake when you repeat it.
GIFT- useless thing given to a useful person.
OPTIMIST- a person who buys a wallet with the last of his money.
SCHOOL- institution which the parents blame their errors in bringing up their child.
GENTLEMAN- a man who makes you feel like a gentleman when you're talking.
~ MAN and WOMAN ~
Angry wives give their husbands bumps, good wives give horns.
Every man dreams of a woman whom he could love, respect, and lie to.
Those who know women pity men, but those who know men are ready to forgive women.
The most enduring part of a family is the marriage certificate.
Love is all. And this is all we know about it.
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