Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 13, 11.09.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- Do you respect me?
- Should I tell you, or do we stay friends?
- What's a bachelor?
- A bachelor is one who simultaneously wants to get married, and is happy that he hasn't done it.
- What's the height of impudence?
- Running towards a train and shouting "Out of my way!"
- Is it better to be bald or a fool?
- Better to be a fool, it's not as noticeable.
- What's love?
- It's when you don't know which is more pleasant: sleeping with someone, or waking up next to him.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- Some jokes may result in children.
- Aw, you're such a joker!
- Sclerosis is a good thing - nothing hurts, and lots of news every day.
- Excuse me, I've forgotten what sclerosis is?
- We hope approximately, but fear exactly.
- We think approximately, but do exactly.
- Even modesty should have limits.
- Even limits should have limits!
- If a woman thinks that the way to a man's heart lies through his stomach, she aims too high.
- If a woman thinks, a man's stomach stays empty.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
REASON- an ability to abstain from cheese if one sees a mousetrap.
HUMANITARIAN AID- money taken from the poor in a rich country, and given to the rich in a poor country.
IMAGINATION- the beginning of all troubles.
MATHEMATICS- a false science that, using strange symbols, proves that everything's all right.
RAT- a former friend.
~ VITAL WISE ~
A man is evil, but he likes good... when done by someone else.
Love may be blind, but neighbors aren't.
It's hard to believe someone is telling the truth if you'd've lied in the same situation.
The world is more complex than we think, and even more complex than we can imagine.
Don't call yourselves fools, wait for someone else to do it.
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