Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 17, 25.10.00
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- All girls are good! So where do bad wives come from? - There can be only one bad wife, the others are all good!
- Why do people need phone sex? - So that at certain moments they can calmly hang up.
- What should one wear when it's cold? - Goosebumps.
- What are "member contributions"? - Child support.
- What will happen if nothing happened? - If nothing happened, tell it to your wife.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- Silence is the mark of agreement.
- Silence is the mark of agreement that goes after a quarrel.
- Don't put off till tomorrow that which yesterday you put off till today
- Don't put off till tomorrow what you can eat today.
- Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
- It's also very expensive.
- The best way of expressing your discontent to a person is to say "I thought better of you."
- The best way to confuse a person is to say "I think better of you than you really are."
- Out of two quarrelers, one usually deserves the other.
- Out of two quarrelers, one usually will drive the other nuts!
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
PANIC- something that starts with the phrase "Don't panic..."
LAWSUIT- the second part of the wedding march.
INVESTORS- fools who stand and look at how their money is wasted.
GENTLEMAN- a man who, having stepped on a cat at night, will call it a cat.
LIAR- one who tells the unpleasant truth.
~ JOKES ~
- Are you single? - Yes, for the third time.
Riddle: A four-letter word that every man fears? (more)
There I was, watching TV, cleaning my ear with a screwdriver. Suddenly the sound went off...
- Why do you always answer a question with a question? - Why do you ask?
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