Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions ...... Issue 17, 25.10.00

~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~


- All girls are good! So where do bad wives come from?
- There can be only one bad wife, the others are all good!
(c) * AleXXL

- Why do people need phone sex?
- So that at certain moments they can calmly hang up.
(c) * Pro.

- What should one wear when it's cold?
- Goosebumps.
(c) * Alex J.

- What are "member contributions"?
- Child support.
(c) * Tom Cat

- What will happen if nothing happened?
- If nothing happened, tell it to your wife.
(c) * ach524

~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~


- Silence is the mark of agreement.
(c) *
- Silence is the mark of agreement that goes after a quarrel.
(c) * Slava

- Don't put off till tomorrow that which yesterday you put off till today
(c) Harry
- Don't put off till tomorrow what you can eat today.
(c) * Anna

- Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
(c) Pardeaux's 1st postulate
- It's also very expensive.
(c) ***

- The best way of expressing your discontent to a person is to say "I thought better of you."
(c) Pro
- The best way to confuse a person is to say "I think better of you than you really are."
(c) * BIG Muzzy

- Out of two quarrelers, one usually deserves the other.
(c) Pro
- Out of two quarrelers, one usually will drive the other nuts!
(c) * ZhUrA

~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~


PANIC- something that starts with the phrase "Don't panic..."
(c) * Pro

LAWSUIT- the second part of the wedding march.
(c) * dusya

INVESTORS- fools who stand and look at how their money is wasted.
(c) Paul DeCourseilles

GENTLEMAN- a man who, having stepped on a cat at night, will call it a cat.
(c) NN

LIAR- one who tells the unpleasant truth.
(c) Oliver Hairnford

~ JOKES ~


- Are you single?
- Yes, for the third time.
(c) * KHAN

Riddle: A four-letter word that every man fears? (more)
(c) NN

There I was, watching TV, cleaning my ear with a screwdriver. Suddenly the sound went off...
(c) * Analysis

- Why do you always answer a question with a question?
- Why do you ask?
(c) NN

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