Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions ...... Issue 18, 31.10.00


- Daddy, what's happiness?
- When you're married, son, you'll know. But it'll be too late...
 (c) Al Bundy (Married with children)

- What's puritanic sex?
- With blindfolds, at night, and in different rooms.
 (c) * DSA

- How can cockroaches walk on the ceiling and not fall off?
- Those born to crawl can't fly.
 (c) M. Gorky |*Crazy

- How can insanity be cured?
- By amputating the legs all the way up to the neck.
 (c) * evg


- Life is simple when you don't take anything too seriously.
 (c) * Glupyshka
- If something is put too simply, it's hard to take seriously.
 (c) * Slava

- A man should be a bit prettier than a monkey.
 (c) Alexander Lebed'
- And a bit smarter!
 (c) * Pro

- Fools are dangerous not due to their stupidity, but due to the remains of their wits.
 (c) * Akhan
- Flashes of wit in fools make one ponder his own stupidity.
 (c) * Daisy

- It's hard to keep quiet when you aren't asked.
 (c) * Octopus
- It's hard not to answer when asked to keep quiet.
 (c) * Daisy

- It's more important to make one feel his guilt than it is to punish him.
 (c) Tamara Svetlichnaya
- To make one feel his guilt he should be properly punished.
 (c) * Pro


PESSIMIST- the one who tells the truth beforehand.
 (c) Сyrano de Bergerac

HEALTH- the cost of life.
 (c) * Slava

ELOQUENCE- the ability to convince others in something you're not sure of yourself.
 (c) Pro

CONSTANCY- there is nothing more fleeting than the feeling of constancy.
 (c) * Hmury

CONDUCTOR- passenger's conscience embodied in a huge loud man.
 (c) NN


There's a genius sleeping in every one of us. And every day the sleep gets deeper.
 (c) NN

What use is sharp wit without even a blunt pencil?
 (c) * YORO

Women are smarter than men. Have you ever heard of a woman losing her head solely because a man has pretty legs?
 (c) F. Ranevskaya

People behave intelligently when all other choices are exhausted.
 (c) R. A. Heinlein

To wear glasses, it's not enough to be smart - you also have to have ears!
 (c) * k-vk

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