Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
Issue 18, 31.10.00
~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- Daddy, what's happiness?
- When you're married, son, you'll know. But it'll be too late...
- What's puritanic sex?
- With blindfolds, at night, and in different rooms.
- How can cockroaches walk on the ceiling and not fall off?
- Those born to crawl can't fly.
- How can insanity be cured?
- By amputating the legs all the way up to the neck.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- Life is simple when you don't take anything too seriously.
- If something is put too simply, it's hard to take seriously.
- A man should be a bit prettier than a monkey.
- And a bit smarter!
- Fools are dangerous not due to their stupidity, but due to the remains of their wits.
- Flashes of wit in fools make one ponder his own stupidity.
- It's hard to keep quiet when you aren't asked.
- It's hard not to answer when asked to keep quiet.
- It's more important to make one feel his guilt than it is to punish him.
- To make one feel his guilt he should be properly punished.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
- the one who tells the truth beforehand.
- the cost of life.
- the ability to convince others in something you're not sure of yourself.
- there is nothing more fleeting than the feeling of constancy.
- passenger's conscience embodied in a huge loud man.
~ THOUGHTS ON INTELLIGENCE ~
There's a genius sleeping in every one of us. And every day the sleep gets deeper.
What use is sharp wit without even a blunt pencil?
Women are smarter than men. Have you ever heard of a woman losing her head solely because a man has pretty legs?
People behave intelligently when all other choices are exhausted.
To wear glasses, it's not enough to be smart - you also have to have ears!