Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
Issue 19, 22.11.00
~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- How long can a person live without a brain?
- How old are you again?
- Is there fairness in this world?
- There is, but it costs money.
- What's the difference between virtual love and jealousy, and real love and jealousy
- The lack of beating and blackeyes.
- What's the logical consequence of love?
- Back and forth, and we both enjoy it?
- That's how all problems in life get started...
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- A son often leads his father astray.
- Unless his father tells him to go stand in the corner.
- Relatives are loved according to distance: the further they are, the stronger the love.
- The most favorite relatives live abroad.
- Jokes are fine, but they may result in children.
- Don't joke with women: stupid jokes lead to smart kids.
- If a person is a fool, it's for life.
- If a person is smart, it's immodest.
- The hands of Allah exist only in the mind of Budda. But the rub is that the mind of Budda is in the hands of Allah.
- My hands obey my mind. But the rub is that my mind is in my hands.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
KISS- two souls meeting each other at the tips of the lips.
TV COMMERCIALS- a 2 minute bathroom break.
HONESTY- inability to quickly think of alternatives.
DIPLOMAT- a man who always remembers a woman's birthday, but never her age.
ADOLESCENCE- the age when children ponder why such smart kids should have such stupid parents.
~ USEFUL ADVICES ~
Don't get acquainted men in the street - they'll cheat you. If you met your husband in the street, get divorced - he's definitely cheating on you.
Borrow money from pessimists - they won't expect it back.
Keep your mouth shut - save the heat of the soul.
Your dress will last you many years if your husband doesn't make enough money.
Don't swim beyond the buoys - you not only risk drowning, but you will also be fined $100.