Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions ...... Issue 19, 22.11.00

~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~


- How long can a person live without a brain?
- How old are you again?
 (c) * Pro

- Is there fairness in this world?
- There is, but it costs money.
 (c) * Kiti S.

- What's the difference between virtual love and jealousy, and real love and jealousy
- The lack of beating and blackeyes.
 (c) * Katyunyua

- What's the logical consequence of love?
- Kids.
 (c) *

- Back and forth, and we both enjoy it?
- That's how all problems in life get started...
 (c) Phil

~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~


- A son often leads his father astray.
 (c) * Kysya
- Unless his father tells him to go stand in the corner.
 (c) * Kitty

- Relatives are loved according to distance: the further they are, the stronger the love.
 (c) * bob
- The most favorite relatives live abroad.
 (c) * Slava

- Jokes are fine, but they may result in children.
 (c) Proverb
- Don't joke with women: stupid jokes lead to smart kids.
 (c) * Pro

- If a person is a fool, it's for life.
 (c) proverb
- If a person is smart, it's immodest.
 (c) * Cosmos

- The hands of Allah exist only in the mind of Budda. But the rub is that the mind of Budda is in the hands of Allah.
 (c) Victor Pelevin
- My hands obey my mind. But the rub is that my mind is in my hands.
 (c) * Slava

~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~


KISS- two souls meeting each other at the tips of the lips.
 (c) Johann Wolfgang Goethe

TV COMMERCIALS- a 2 minute bathroom break.
 (c) * Lee Loo

HONESTY- inability to quickly think of alternatives.
 (c) * Janna

DIPLOMAT- a man who always remembers a woman's birthday, but never her age.
 (c) Robert Frost

ADOLESCENCE- the age when children ponder why such smart kids should have such stupid parents.
 (c) NN

~ USEFUL ADVICES ~


Don't get acquainted men in the street - they'll cheat you. If you met your husband in the street, get divorced - he's definitely cheating on you.
 (c) * nata

Borrow money from pessimists - they won't expect it back.
 (c) Ambrose Bierce

Keep your mouth shut - save the heat of the soul.
 (c) *

Your dress will last you many years if your husband doesn't make enough money.
 (c) * nata

Don't swim beyond the buoys - you not only risk drowning, but you will also be fined $100.
 (c) * Dashenciya

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