Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions ...... Issue 20, 01.12.00

~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~


- Why do men love fishing so much?
- Exactly! Can't I drink at home?
 (c) * Guess Who

- Should I get married?
- Yes, but not very often.
 (c) * Crazy

- What's democracy?
- It's when they send you to go screw yourself, and you go wherever you want.
 (c) NN

- Where do pigs fly?
- In the pig flight control center.
 (c) * Kirill

- What do men and deer have in common?
- Both are prey.
 (c) * Frida

~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~


- The more arguments you win, the more friends you lose.
 (c) * Kysya
- Friends come and go, but want for arguments remains.
 (c) * Cosmos

- Getting profitably married is like putting your hand into a bag of vipers and pulling out a grass-snake.
 (c) * Poul32
- Getting married profitably... hmm... interesting concept.
 (c) * BIG Muzzy

- The worse we feel today, the better we felt yesterday.
 (c) * Slava
- If your wife doesn't speak to you in the morning, your evening was successful.
 (c) * tuteyshi

- Everything should be taken in moderation, even modesty.
 (c) A. France
- I am a person of extraordinary, even phenomenal, modesty!
 (c) * Phil

- Bad-tempered wives give their husbands bumps, and good-tempered - antlers.
 (c) K. Melikhan
- Some husbands get both bumps and antlers.
 (c) * Alo

~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~


LAZINESS- something that prevents me from coming up with a definition for this word.
 (c) * BIG Muzzy

TELEVISION- a window into another world.
 (c) * olle

FANTASY- sexual discontent.
 (c) * Alex J.

FEMININE LOGIC- belief that the stubbornness of facts can be overcome by even bigger personal stubbornness.
 (c) Alexander Kruglov

GENIUS- if one looks at the proverb "Genius is simplicity", a genius is a lummox.
 (c) * Needed

~ SAPIENTIAL THOUGHTS ~


The more you think, the fewer supporters you have.
 (c) NN

The theory of relativity is better understood in the context of decency.
 (c) Gennady Malkin

Love gives us wings, but getting a parachute is up to you.
 (c) Veselovsky

God save us from Heaven with no exit.
 (c) Ursula Zybura

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