Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
Issue 20, 01.12.00
~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- Why do men love fishing so much?
- Exactly! Can't I drink at home?
- Should I get married?
- Yes, but not very often.
- What's democracy?
- It's when they send you to go screw yourself, and you go wherever you want.
- Where do pigs fly?
- In the pig flight control center.
- What do men and deer have in common?
- Both are prey.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- The more arguments you win, the more friends you lose.
- Friends come and go, but want for arguments remains.
- Getting profitably married is like putting your hand into a bag of vipers and pulling out a grass-snake.
- Getting married profitably... hmm... interesting concept.
- The worse we feel today, the better we felt yesterday.
- If your wife doesn't speak to you in the morning, your evening was successful.
- Everything should be taken in moderation, even modesty.
- I am a person of extraordinary, even phenomenal, modesty!
- Bad-tempered wives give their husbands bumps, and good-tempered - antlers.
- Some husbands get both bumps and antlers.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
LAZINESS- something that prevents me from coming up with a definition for this word.
TELEVISION- a window into another world.
FANTASY- sexual discontent.
FEMININE LOGIC- belief that the stubbornness of facts can be overcome by even bigger personal stubbornness.
GENIUS- if one looks at the proverb "Genius is simplicity", a genius is a lummox.
~ SAPIENTIAL THOUGHTS ~
The more you think, the fewer supporters you have.
The theory of relativity is better understood in the context of decency.
Love gives us wings, but getting a parachute is up to you.
God save us from Heaven with no exit.