Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
Issue 21, 26.12.00
~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- Why do policemen walk in those funny hats?
- Policemen don't walk, they change location.
- What to do when life loses meaning?
- What do you mean?..
- What is subtle British humor?
- Oatmeal, sir...
- What's cooler: sex, drugs, or rock-n-roll?
- Poker, champagne and mazurka.
- Where do you find time to waste?
- In order not to waste time you should enjoy yourself.
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- In doubt lies the truth.
- If you doubt everything - you'll forget how to lie.
- Every man dreams of a woman that he could love, respect and lie to.
- A woman is nobler than a man: unlike him she pays attention to more than looks.
- Life is what you think of it.
- You think this is life?
- A man has to be a bit prettier than an ape.
- And a woman - a bit prettier than the previous one.
- Man is full of spite, but he likes kindness... when done by others.
- All men are kind, but some are unhappy.
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
DRUM- an instrument with only one note.
GREED- acute form of thrift.
PRESIDENT- someone elected so that there is someone to blame for president's actions.
LOVE- when 50% of the shortcomings aren't seen, and the rest are forgiven.
EXPERIENCE- that which lets people make new mistakes instead of old.
~ MATRIMONIAL WISDOM ~
She, who for someone is burning passion, for another is just a wife.
Every woman can make three things out of nothing: a hairdo, a salad, and a tragedy.
When a girl gets married, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
It's hard to make children stand on their own feet - especially in the early morning.
A man has to get married: if he gets a good wife, he'll be happy; if a bad one - he'll be a philosopher.