Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions
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Issue 22, 16.01.01
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~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~
- When is honeymoon over?
- When your wife starts buzzing that you're a dog-bee!
- Do you always know your alcohol limit?
- I know it, but I don't accept it!
- Are elections a disaster or the show of the year?
- Elections are a month of fun with four years of consequences.
- When do women talk least.
- In February.
- Why don't people fly?
- To put it more correctly - why don't people fly up?
~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~
- Rebuke your friend privately - praise him in public.
- Rebuke your enemy publicly - praise him in private.
- To make the truth more plausible, one has to mix some lie into it.
- This truth most probably has a bit of lie mixed in.
- If a friendship stops, it never started.
- With the friends I have, who needs enemies?
- Sometimes the only escape from a situation is a feat.
- Sometimes the only feat is an escape...
~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~
PESSIMIST- a well-informed optimist.
POLITICIAN- a victim of his own ambition.
DINER- a place where professionals turn good foodstuffs into bad food.
BORE- a person who gives a complete answer to "How are you?".
HONEYMOON- the rest before a lifelong battle.
~ USEFUL ADVICES ~
Who said silence is bliss? If you want to be heard, don't keep quiet.
Save your appetite: avoid dining with a food critic.
If you've got an elephant by the heel and he's trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
Make an effort to do everything right - it'll deteriorate on its own.
Remember: When turning on the light, think of those who may be hiding there.
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