Selected jokes, aphorisms and definitions ...... Issue 2, 08.06.00

~ QUESTIONS and ANSWERS ~


- If you're so smart, why are you so poor?
- If you're so smart, why are you asking?
(c) * Pro

- How can I get rid of a triple chin?
- Grow a fourth one.
(c) * Sozertzatel

- Is there a limit to human desires?
- Yes. As long as the desires are human.
(c) * Slava

- What do airheads have in their heads?
- Drafts!
(c) * Phil

- Can I ask you a ve-e-ery little question?
- Would you like to get a ve-e-ery big answer?
(c) * Slava

~ ANSWERS to APHORISMS ~


- Don't try to be smarter than you seem - noone will appreciate it.
(c) * Vlad
- Don't try to be stupider than you seem - someone will appreciate it.
(c) * Pro

- The more water there is in the book, the deeper it is.
(c) A.Knyshev
- One slurps deep books.
(c) * Pro

- Don't let bad people lie to you. There's enough good ones.
(c) NN
- If your friend lied to you, don't be upset, at least it wasn't your enemy.
(c) * Slava

- People don't like being lied to, ... for some reason. They don't like truth either... for some reason.
(c) * Pro
- The ugly truth. A beautiful lie. Understand people? Don't even try!
(c) * Slava

- Applied Murphy-ology: The fewer dishes there are, the fewer dirty dishes there are.
(c) * Pro
- The fewer broken dishes there are.
(c) * Dr.

~ FUNNY DICTIONARY ~


REALITY- part of imagination that everyone agrees on.
(c) NN

TIME- there's always time to complain about its lack.
(c) * Hmury

EGOTIST- a person more interested in himself than me.
(c) U.Tuvim

BALD SPOT- the brightest spot in one's life.
(c) NN

HATE- a feeling of your own inadequacy.
(c) * Svetlana

~ One-liners ~


Real pleasures have to be expensive.
(c) V.Vishnevsky

No grudge suffers from amnesia.
(c) * Duka

I loved my life. It didn't love me back, though.
(c) * ZhUrA

Excuse me, but this cannot be excused!
(c) * StarPierre

I'm not a grudge... I'm a monument to him...
(c) * StarPierre

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